I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
