she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
