I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
