I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
