So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
