Your mouth is God's brothel.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize