I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
