you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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