The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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