McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
