I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
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Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
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I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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