yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
