Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
