This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
