I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize