Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
