Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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