Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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