the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
My dick has a subreddit
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize