I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
