yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
My liver just broke up with me...
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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