I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
