i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
