Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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