Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
