Acid is not a monday night drug
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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