You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Randomize