So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Randomize
