my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You ruined the universe
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
