and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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