i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I need to sanitize my soul.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
