I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Randomize
