the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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