I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My dick has a subreddit
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
