Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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