Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
