you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
