Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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