Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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