the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
dude. I can hear the air.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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