You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
