But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
