Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
