no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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