I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Let's paint friendship bongs
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
