is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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