It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I supernannyed him into submission
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
