dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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