haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize