he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
