...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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