My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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