drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
they're like a gay fantastic four
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
