just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
