Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Houston, we have a squirter
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
