I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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