I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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