We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
