I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
So much rum. So many feels.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Randomize