I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
