This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Is it penis luge time yet?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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