just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
