people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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