What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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