Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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