I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
