their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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