he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
