Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Where are you guys?
Drunk
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
