this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
