Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
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Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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