The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
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