i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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